Chest Pains.

Haha I'm so pumped right now, I feel like fighting.

Weird.

mannn, interesting day.

More nightmaressss. Scarier than usual.

You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to such life-like dreams.

You died. You f-u-c-k-i-n-g died. I couldn't believe it. When it happened, I was just dumbstruck. I stared at you and everything else faded to grey.

I sat there, held you and cried.

I did more than cry, I hadn't cried like that in so long. So damn long. In the end I was screaming, screaming as loud as i could until my lungs gave way.

I didn't care what people thought. I didn't care what they said. I didn't even hear them.

I couldn't even comprehend that you were gone.

But the scariest part was that, I couldn't bring you back. There was literally nothing I could do, to get you back. You were gone and that was it.

And it scared me. It terrified me, that I would never see you again. What if there was no after-life and I could never see or hear you again.

My faith tells me there is, but my God, what if there isn't?

Fuck...what if something did happen to you.

Baby, what would i do...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually I don't feel like fighting anymore, it was just that song getting me excited.

I woke up, and my heart was beating so hard. It hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But then I saw you today, thank God I did. It gave me so much relief to see you standing there waiting for me.

But things turned out nothing like my dream and everything was fine. Things were great.

For that I am thankful.

(:

What elseeeeee, mm I discovered a different part of myself today. So surprised, didn't know I'd be like that.

I think it's a bad thing, I should have listened to you. But I was so damn selfish. I'm so damn surprised at my self.

I didn't listen.

But that's always the way isn't it.

I should have listened.

I shouldn't have listened.

I never get that bit right. Never know when to listen and when to trust myself.

Anyway that's all for tonight.

Bit of a sad blog, but I'm not upset. I had a great day and I hope you did too. :D