Lately I've been thinking that it feels like I've lost the ability to get close with any one anymore. I thought about it and I've had some great friendships in the past but lately I haven't been able to get particularly close with anyone lately. Feeling that everyone all of a sudden has stopped wearing their heart on their sleeve and locked it up so deep inside that if I ever went looking for it I'd only find the faintest of heartbeats. But today made me realise that they haven't locked up their hearts, I've just locked up mine. I hadn't realised to be honest, but I've been afraid of getting hurt so my attempts to find that closeness have been half hearted. I'm glad i realised this, funnily enough in someone who I can see myself in sometimes. looks like that someone is a few steps in front, but maybe it's just maturity.
Who knows I lose track of things these days, not as sharp as I once was. Oh well whatever, I'll get it back soon enough. Either way I've lost my enthusiasm that I had at the start of this blog, next time I won't type gradually over an hour of doing a million other things at the same time. So next time I'll focus on writing alone. Even if this blog doesn't resolve any conflicting thoughts of mine at the moment I don't mind, it was probably just an average day full of emotions varying a little too wildly.
♫Time is running out
FTW! ;D♪
so yeah fuck it,cbf LOL
No comments:
Post a Comment