Endless days.

I know I said I'd stop blogging, I know this may make me a hypocrite, but I guess I need to vent. I think this is selfish, but I hope you'll forgive me.

I'm trapped in a world of endless days, the only possible end I can see is myself on a dirt road on my knees. Right before I hit the ground dead. So I'm just walking on bleeding feet, on this endless road. 

I'm disgusted with who I am right now, it's past experiences who have made me who I am. This isn't my true nature to be this... whatever this is but Changing back to how I was is hard. Yet I still don't know how to deal with it.

From my first time here I've been taken advantage of, trodden on, had my spirit broken countless times and had trust in people at first cracked then completely shattered. But I've learnt to live with this, but I still can't deal with the issue.

If I don't defend myself and wear my heart on my sleeve, I end up broken. If I defend myself I end up becoming blind unable to tell Friend from enemy and end up back to where I started.

~I can't tell the difference between a helping hand and a fist to the face~

And yes I know, I know. But it seems real enough to me.