that first sentence I wrote in anger and it has been..........two anddd a half hours and after much arguing, talking, yelling, etc it's all good. Apologies for my crazy moods but those kids send me coo-coo bananas, seriously it wouldn't be so bad if it was just one or two brothers, but three is just a tad too much for me to handle with out showing undiluted emotion. Normally I'm against hiding emotion or not showing it, but with my brothers its simply better to disregard them and focus my attention else where and let my emotions lose their intensity and to be lost in my activities. BUT ANYWAY, I talked with my dad and he made things seem way easier/better where as my mum thought I was criticizing her parenting when that wasn't my goal. Hehe now I know where I get my 'thin skin' from. But now I see thing clearer. Another thing I know is that dad is too laid back and mum is too uptight. My position on that scale is varied. I swing from side to side although in recent years I've been more towards the uptight side, so I just need to relax and find a good mix. Ironically enough, that seems to be the main problem for all my issues. Balance. Balance of emotions, balance of activities, balance of faith, balance of just about anything that can be balanced.
My heart still pounds, I'm breathing now, I won't fall down!
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